You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
