Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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