You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
