fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
