I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i dont even know how to be here
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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