physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
