How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
