I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
