so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
