what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
