like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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