The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize