She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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