i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
