I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
