Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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