Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
