It's like a parade of train wrecks.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Randomize
