Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize