You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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