We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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