Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize