hotel room ftw
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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