Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
