Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
