this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
