i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
