Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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