I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
