accomplished twins. life is a go
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
