as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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