we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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