If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
