Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
