Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
