I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
