She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
