nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
