I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize