She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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