FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just invented taco cereal.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
