My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
