Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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