then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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