Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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