Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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