They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
