you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize