He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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