just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
