well I can't set my house on fire every night
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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