this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
