All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
