I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize