Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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