He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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