ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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