Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
