make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize