You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
