I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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