Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
